Author: admin

By Edward

On a normal day at Summer School Michael, one of the coordinators, was caught with a toy gun. All the staff were shocked by this piece of evidence against coordinator Michael especially Boop who said, “that’s not very pacifist, that’s an Ak-47!” He wasn’t just caught with the gun – he was pretending to shoot the staff and loaded the gun with a nerf bullet at targets which missed and hit books off the shelf.

“It’s very Quaker related,” commented James – a young person at Summer School.

Then some other staff said, “OMG that’s not cool at a Quaker school, and as he is a coordinator that’s even worse!”

An anonymous group of kids – inspired by this year’s theme of Activism Around the World – are considering a protest as they don’t want to get shot at night.

We can only hope that Michael will not carry on with this gun incident, but if you see him then watch out he might SHOOT YOU!

James, Katie, Kirsten and Alice

On Saturday a pigeon was found in the boy’s dorm.  Arek the occupant of the dorm said, “It was shocking when I saw the bird. It was even more shocking when I saw an egg.” It was trying to nest in a corner. A group of the male staff ventured out on their quest to remove the pigeon from this dangerous and toxic location. Michael was first to attempt the removal, however, due to his fear of birds, he chickened out. So Sam eventually had to take over from Michael. He (and others) encountered flapping, squawking and stinking socks (which were not from the pigeon) during the complex operation of escorting the bird to safety. Steps included coaxing it into a plastic box with a newspaper and a blanket being thrown on top. Later events may shed some light on the reason for the pigeon nesting in these dorms…

Animal crackers

The next morning a ginger cat entered meeting for worship and tried to join the silence. Unfortunately for the cat it was somewhat hampered by the bell around its neck which caused a light tinkling whenever it moved. Our sources indicate that the reason for the pigeon’s plight was to escape from the playful, potentially killer, cat. The egg has also been removed and placed elsewhere in the grounds and the pigeon has been delivered to its new home as well.

Incredibly, another episode of the pigeon drama occurred in the same dorm. This time our reporters came in time to see the pigeon make a hasty getaway. We met Barry the caretaker who explained, “People have races up and down the country with homing pigeons that occasionally get lost. These disoriented pigeons nest in buildings mistaking them for pigeon lofts.”

However it was not the last time that the pigeon was spotted. On Tuesday, just after nine o’clock the pigeon was spotted in dorm nineteen for the third time but it just did a quick flyby. “It flew in, slipped on a piece of paper and flew out again,” said Gwen who was reading at the time.

 

By Martha and Isaac Swagsters

On the first day of summer school, SSP journalists Isaac and Martha went to interview the infamous Michael Wood; much loved and greatly admired co-ordinator. (Sorry Boop you were sleeping, maybe later this week when you are awake).

START OF THE QUESTIONS YAY

Martha: So Michael, do you have sufficient swag?

Michael: Sorry what? What do I have?

Martha: SWAG MICHAEL, SWAG

Michael: ooh, swag, yes.

Isaac: And do you prefer pigeons or cats?

Michael: Well, due to the dorm situation with the pigeon pooing everywhere, and disrupting general peace in the Boys Dorms, I prefer cats, as they get rid of the pigeons. I liked that cat this morning.

Isaac: Pigeons are fat. So was the cat this morning.

Martha: What are your views on Nutmeg?

Michael: Tasty in a fondue, otherwise useless.

Martha: Who do you miss most from past Summer Schools?

Michael: Um, well, wouldn’t that be favouritism? I mean I miss every one, that’s not favouritism is it?

Isaac: No. Moving on, what’s your most memorable Activism expirence?

Michael: Oooh, can I have two? Or actually three? Because the three are probably being at the OCCUPY EVICTION, OR THE IRAQ WAR MARCH OR THE CRITICAL MASS CYCLE RIDE THING. YAY FOR YAY ACTIVISM YAY I’M SO EXCITED FOR ALL THE SUMMER SCHOOL ACTIVISM YAY YAY YAY (Michael got very excited and jumped around a bit and almost fell in the swimming pool so we calmed him down and sat him down)

Isaac: Now you’ve calmed down a bit Michael, do you like ABBA? And why?

Michael: (thinks) No I don’t like ABBA. But I love Thank you for the music, (starts singing and dancing) the songs I’m singing, thanks for all the JOY THEY’RE BRINGING WHO COULD LIVE WITHOUT IT I ASK IN ALL HONESTY WHAT COULD LIFE-(at this point Michael is dancing rather wildly, falls into the swimming pool, and proceeds to swim, still singing, fully clothed, to the side of the pool, scaring everyone else out of the pool)

We ended the conversation and walked away. Michael is our new favourite.